#22 Heart

Prepare the heart by rinsing it in cool water and trimming off any membranes and fat from the outside of the organ. Slice the heart down the middle so you cut away any connective tissue, then slice further into bite-sized cubes, so you can barely recognise the shape of the human heart. Then in a clean, large vessel, soak the heart in a marinade made of half a cup of soy sauce and rice wine, two packed tablespoons of sugar, and a whole tub of Korean gochujang (chilli paste) or other strong spice that may hurt your taste buds. Cover the container with a lid or cling wrap and leave it in the fridge overnight, so that the marinade can be absorbed and conceal the flavour of the human, you monster.

To cook the heart, apply a generous amount of oil to a frying pan and brown the heart cubes on all sides. Add the leftover marinade into the pan (and more of that gochujang if you have any more), while scrapping off the fond (thanks @bingingwithbabish ) off the bottom with a wooden spoon, and stir everything together. Then reduce the heat to a low, cover the pan and let the heart braise for about half an hour, or for as long as you are dealing with your conscience and guilt of being related to Hannibal. Add a handful of your preferred vegetables (chopped carrots and onions are recommended), cover, and cook for another hour or until the carrots are tender. Or if you are keen on flavour, you can also stir-fry the carrots and onions in a separate saucepan with garlic and ginger before throwing them in with the heart cubes.

When ready to serve, strain the vegetables and heart, and serve them in a bowl. Bon Appetit.

Now that you have murdered and consumed a human, please be prepared to be arrested and rot in jail (then hell) for eternity.

*****

I wrote this for fun, but please don’t eat people. I don’t imagine we taste nice, and it’s a lot of work when you can probably just get a nice piece of steak with no consequences. Also don’t murder people.